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DO NOT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Lord, use me.  A prayer I've prayed a million times.  But lately I've been doing some soul searching, or rather God has been telling me about myself. (Don't you love when he does that.)  I've always wanted to be used by God greatly.  I've said that I've surrendered all, sang the song a million times, and just turn around to pick up all the junk I've laid on the alter for the 15th time that month and try to figure out this "surrendered" life I'm supposed to lead.  I've tried to map out how he can use me, where he can use me, and what he will have me doing.  Well let me just tell you folks, my head has been stuck in the sand for many years.  Now don't get me wrong, I've always wanted what God wanted for me and although I've put up a fight for a few things, I usually give in, hang my head like a little girl, and say "You were right all along and I should have listened the first time."  Why do us girls always try to figu
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The big T

So I guess I've decided to keep going with this blog. Surprisingly, I'm finding that I like writing on this thing. My thoughts are mainly for me but maybe someone might feel the same about things and it helps to know you're not alone sometimes :) (At least for me it does) Ill try to keep it shorter than my blog from Africa though lol. So the big T. Wonder what that is? Transition. Spiritual transition. For me this word makes me want to cringe and be excited at the same time. My life has been in this faze for over a year now and it feels as though the emotions of it all are increasing daily. It's a mixture of excitement, wonder, and frustration all at once. Now I know frustration isn't what   god gives us but I've been feeling it. It's like I'm standing at the edge of the cliff wanting to jump, not sure what Im jumping into, but ready and not afraid, yet someone is holding my shirt and saying not yet. There's two things pulling me; knowing that t
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For those "In the Waiting"

Matthew 6:25-34 I've always read this chapter thinking that God doesn't want me to worry about material things. But today I read it a bit differently. He will provide my EVERY need, my heart's desire, He will stay true to His promises  BUT He may have you wait! It will sometimes lead to what I like to call as Holy Frustration.  Knowing that the waiting is part of His will for your life, but still, because we're human, leads to us being impatient at times and getting frustrated at His timing. BUT GOD ALWAYS COMES THROUGH! This is my testimony. My family. My husband and my children.  I call them my miracles from God. God had me wait for all of it. But it was so worth it. You see, I didn't get married in my 20's like all my other friends.  And let me tell you, the waiting was hard. It was trying, it was lonely, and it was exactly what I needed, but didn't want. In the waiting, He taught me so much: His love fo
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