Mercy Mobile

When we are young, most of us don't dream of driving a minivan some day and I am no exception. I've always loved bigger vehicles and these last few years, my eyes have been set on an Expedition.

We almost bought one two years ago when we bought the minivan but it was just right out of our price range.  And I wanted the minivan. With two little boys, it was exactly what our family needed - practical and affordable.  

I didn't hate it.  I wouldn't say I was in love with it but I enjoyed it.  Sliding doors will change your life.  Just sayin!

I've always been practical. Rarely will I splurge and buy on impulse.  My husband is the same way.  We research, we think, we pray, we talk it out, and then we wait a little while longer and then make a decision.

But when that shiny new (used) Expedition with the AMAZING price tag was on the lot , we couldn't pass it up. We took it home for a night and I really liked it, but something just wasn't settled right in me.  It's like it wasn't the right season and because of the gas and the bulky doors (kids), I was so unsure. BUT how could we pass this up!  There was no reason to get it, but there really wasn't a good enough reason NOT to get it.

So we brought it back the next day and told the car dealership, "No thank you."  

NOPE. We bought it.  Against my better judgment, my practical brain, and this unsettled feeling.  I'd always wanted one, the price could not be beat, I'd finally be out of the mom mobile, it was higher off the road...there were so many good things about it.  Except one. I didn't have peace about it. And I drove it around for two weeks unsatisfied, not excited, and with something in my gut telling me I had stepped out of His will.  

Some may read this and think, "You're crazy!  It's just a car."  But it's more than that.  Daniel and I are financially in a place where we can make a decision like this, but that doesn't mean we should.  I have always been a firm believer that God is in the details.  He knows the beginning from the end, He sees what's ahead of us, and speaks to us in the now so that we can stay on the path He has planned for us.  And He cared if we bought a new car.

I don't think I ignored the lack of peace. I just reasoned my way out of it. Questioned, "Is that really you God or this practical brain stopping me from just doing something spontaneous and fun for a chance?"  That double mind that the enemy uses to deceive us into questioning what the Lord has spoke to us about.  Sound familiar? Hello! EVE!

But every time I looked at that vehicle in my driveway, it quickly became a reminder that I had missed the mark.

The other night, out of the blue, Daniel mentioned to me, for reasons of his own, that he had thought about getting the van back.  I knew God was making a way for my mistake to be redeemed and made right.  I hadn't talked to Daniel about all the things I had been feeling, but God knew.  I literally wanted to run to the dealership that night to make right this wrong.  Because if you're like me, when God convicts me, I want to make it right immediately to not have to carry that guilt feeling in the pit of my stomach any longer than I need to.

So we drove off the car lot the next morning in our brand new (used) Minivan.  The same one we gave up two weeks ago.  And when I woke up that morning, I was excited and at peace.   Like a burden had been lifted. 

Yes - over a minivan.

It meant that My God redeems. He gives me a way to make it right.  And despite the embarrassment and the shame and I'm sure the questions and looks I'll get, He opens a door for ME to do the right thing.

The Bible says that "He will give you the desires of your heart."  

God had to take me on this embarrassing journey to teach me that if my heart lines up with his heart, the things that I need will become the things that I want. Because this morning, I WANTED the minivan, not the Expedition.  It wasn't just about the vehicle either.  It was about wanting His peace and His perfect will for my life MORE than my fleshly desires.

God will give me the desires of my heart, but first they have to line up with the desires of his heart.  Once I deny my fleshly desires and I truly walk in obedience to Him, His desires become my desires.  We start to find contentment and peace and joy in the sliding doors and keyless entries of life.  The stuff that once our flesh didn't want, our heart will desire, by obedience and trust and faith that He really does know what's best for us.  

The Expedition wasn't for me.  It may be in the future, but not in this season.  He knows why.  And I trust Him.

He is faithful.  He will give mercy and make ways for me to right my wrongs.  He will forgive and He will  allow me to move on. And He will speak to us daily, even through a Minivan.

And I have learned His voice through missing it.

So next time all you peeps who are hatin' on the minivan want to bash it, remember that it could be someone's mercy mobile ;)

(I am not, nor will I ever, be offended by jokes my friends make about my minivan. They're just jealous that they don't have those sliding doors ;)