This Girl's Heartbeat

Disclaimer: This is long!  But the healing could have never come without the process. Two months of barely eating.  I'd lost so much weight that I didn't fit any of my clothes anymore.   Two months of no sleeping.  Like literally waking up every thirty minutes...for months. The only thing that would keep me asleep was to play preaching on youtube. When the sermon was over, I'd wake up.   Nauseated every minute of every day. The enemy whispering in my ear horrible, disgusting, off the wall things that I have never spoken of to anyone.  It was a constant record of lies playing on repeat in my head daily, nightly, for months. Fear gripped me. Worry engulfed me. It was a perfect storm that the enemy orchestrated. He had waged war on my mind, my body, my future, and my spirit.  And he almost won. It was three months before I was to leave for Africa.  Daniel and I were still dating but I knew that a proposal was around the corner.  I was

Matthew 6:25-34 I've always read this chapter thinking that God doesn't want me to worry about material things. But today I read it a bit differently. He will provide my EVERY need, my heart's desire, He will stay true to His promises  BUT He may have you wait! It will sometimes lead to what I like to call as Holy Frustration.  Knowing that the waiting is part of His will for your life, but still, because we're human, leads to us being impatient at times and getting frustrated at His timing. BUT GOD ALWAYS COMES THROUGH! This is my testimony. My family. My husband and my children.  I call them my miracles from God. God had me wait for all of it. But it was so worth it. You see, I didn't get married in my 20's like all my other friends.  And let me tell you, the waiting was hard. It was trying, it was lonely, and it was exactly what I needed, but didn't want. In the waiting, He taught me so much: His love fo